Weed
by MckayZielke
Summary: Jiraiya gets Naruto high for his first time; Itachi gets him second. With Sasuke suddenly stressing Naruto with a crush, the blonde goes for the drugs hungrily. This can only end badly... NaruxItaxSasu
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the tv shows and all the characters pertaining to the show belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not me. I am not doing this for profit, or any other type of gain other than the pleasure of writing with his awesome characters.

Everyone in my village hates me. The girl I love is in love with my best friend. My best friend happens to be a faggy emo. He's stronger than me by far but he can't even scratch his brother. His brother (along with seven other people and a fish of equal strength) is trying to kill me. And when the emo kid left, a guy who obsesses about my penis joined the squad.

And to top it off my parents are dead.

But guess what? I can summon frogs. Frogs are cool. Frogs don't do drugs and neither do I.

I am above the influence.

* * *

I held a lit lighter to the end of the fat joint that was currently pinched precariously between my lips and inhaled slowly as the smoke filled my lungs with their toxic fumes and THC. A stingy smoke filled my lungs and I coughed it out sharply, the substance burning my throat and leaving a nasty taste in my mouth on its way in and out.

"Jeez you suck at this, kid." Jiraiya gently took the joint from my hands and I glared at him. "You're supposed to hold it in your lungs for about ten seconds or else you won't get the full effect." He lit the joint and expertly puffed the weed filled paper. He made a funny face as he held the smoke in his mouth and spoke in a strained voice, very little smoke spilling from his lips. "This is some strong shit." Jiraiya let out a billow of smoke and coughed once with a satisfied smile on his face. "Try again," he ordered and I frowned at the proffered joint.

I wasn't sure I wanted any more and I told the man that. He laughed and shoved it in my face once more with a promise that I would get used to it but I doubted the wisdom of his words. I pinched the joint between my lips once more and held the green lighter to the end of it. I flicked the lighter and inhaled like Jiraiya had taught me, I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye as I sucked in a huge gust of air and somehow found it within myself to hold the vile tasting weed within my lungs for ten seconds on the dot before I let it out in one large gust of white air.

"Burns don't it? That means its some really good shit." He took a hit from the joint, "Though not all of it burns. This is just some fire; but Diesel is freaking amazing, Naruto. Tastes like the diesel gas, smells like it too." He looked thoughtfully at me before taking another hit: the joint was almost gone. "I should get you some of it while I'm out today. So you can try it." He puffed a few more times on the joint before putting it out. He had gotten the majority of the joint before I had stumbled into his study anyway.

"But I don't know if I'm gonna do this anymore," I mumbled as I sat back in the fluffy chair I had plopped into when he had called my name. My legs were beginning to tingle and my head felt…funny. It was hard to explain but the chair was suddenly very, very comfortable.

"If you smoke some Diesel when I come home later then you won't have to go to school today."

I gasped in shock and sat up, "Really?!"

"Yeah, Diesel ain't cheep though; you'll have to actually do your homework for once instead of obsessing over Sasuke."

I flushed with anger, "I'm not obsessed," I snapped and watched with wonder as Jiraiya pulled out a glass vase that had a hole near the bottom with something sticking out of it and black water in the bottom.

"Damn, need to change the bong water," the old man muttered as he placed it on his desk and ground up some more weed.

"Bong?" I asked in confusion and glared when he laughed at me.

"Yeah, kid," he pointed to the hole and strange attachment, "That's a bowl, the place where I put the weed, when you light it and inhale, don't do as much as you can until you pull it out and only put the bowl back into the bong when the bubbles stop." He demonstrated about a minute later and took a monster hit, though I had no clue that he had 'died' with that single hit until much later into my smoking career.

I gently took the bong and balanced it on my knee like he had. Jiraiya watched me carefully as I placed my mouth within the hole at the top and I lit the weed. My eyes lit up with concentration as I began to inhale, sucking on the weed smoke and watching it glow red as it burned. When the bowl was pulled out I sucked in as much of the smoke as I could before sliding the bowl back into place, careful of the bubbles being gone first.

"Wow, kid, you cleared the entire thing on your first try, I'm impressed." He smirked and took the bong from me, smirking even wider when a huge cloud of smoke left my mouth moments later and I coughed up half my lungs. He then mumbled something I only partially caught, "…natural chiefer…"

A small smile formed on my face; that would be the first time I would 'die' while smoking weed down in Jiraiya's basement and would most definitely not be my last.

"Hehe, corrupting minors is so much fun, ne?" he smirked at me and I looked at him with narrowed eyes, they burned badly, "Heh, your eyes are so red. There's no way in hell that you could go to school and get away with being blitzed." I watched Jiraiya pack everything away into his desk and then stand, towering above my like a giant.

Hehe, Jiraiya the Giant. Funny…

I frowned at my own train of thought, how had that been funny? Jiraiya the Giant…yup, that was hilarious! I would have to tell Sakura, or, better yet, Sasuke. Yeah, he would find that funny. I stood up and retrieved my school bag from beside the door where I had dropped it earlier.

"Oh no," Jiraiya snatched my bag from my hand and I just couldn't bring myself to be mad at him for some reason. "You're most definitely not going to school like that, Tsunade would notice in a heartbeat and then she would come here and kick my ass."

"Tsunade loves you too much to kill you," I looked over at one of his "Icha Icha Paradise" novels and wondered if it was supposed to have a three-D cover.

"I didn't say she would kill me, just maim me and make it impossible to have sex."

I gave him a horrified look, "She would strip you of your manhood?!" I don't know why this fact shocked me so much, Tsunade is supper protective of me, and she hated how Jiraiya had gotten me from the orphanage before her or Iruka could.

"I hate to say this but you should go to your room and just go to sleep," he mumbled something about a waist of a good high before shooing me out of his study/workplace/smoking area—he kept my backpack with him and he knew I wouldn't leave for school without it.

What to do for the rest of the day?

I stumbled haphazardly up the carpeted stairs slowly; they felt like an escalator…going down. I groaned and almost collapsed when I got to the top before I walked slowly down the impossibly long hallway to my room where I collapsed onto the bed with a heavy sigh. I glanced at my clock and realized that I had five minutes before I needed to be outside so Sasuke could give me a ride to school.

* * *

A loud honking from a car outside my window alerted me to that fact that Sasuke had taken it upon himself to arrive early. Whatever…

If I had looked at my clock I would have realized that Sasuke must have been sitting in my driveway for twelve minutes longer than usual before honking at me to hurry the hell up.

I pushed myself up and walked clumsily over to my window—opening it was an arduous task but I managed it after three tries.

"What's taking you so long," Sasuke snapped at me as he shoved me slightly. He looked as shocked as I did when my ass fell onto the floor but he didn't bust out laughing like me as he climbed through my window. "What the hell is wrong with you, dobe?"

"What wrong indeed," I tried and failed to sound smart which made me laugh even more.

"Come here," Sasuke commanded and I frowned at him, not wanting to stand up after getting so comfortable on the ground, "Come on, dobe, we don't have all day."

I grumbled and huffed as I shifted to my feet quickly enough. Sasuke grabbed my head and looked me in the eyes. His gaze turned shocked as he took in what had obviously happened to me before he grabbed each side of my face and sniffed my hair.

"You're high."

"Jiraiya said I was blitzed…or something like that…" I pulled away from him and frowned, his eyes were full of worry, "What teh hell is wrong wit you?" Sasuke had never shown such emotion before. When had the world started swaying…?

"Nothing, you should stay home today."

"Jiraiya said the same thing. Took my messenger bag and everything. Hey," my eyes lit up with my brilliant idea, "Why don't we skip together, it'll be so much fun."

"No," Sasuke grumbled and he let me go, "I'm going to school and you are staying here. I'll come by after-school with your work. You have Ms. Kurenai third block, right?"

"Yeah," I grumbled and crossed my arms while pouting slightly, "But I wish you would stay."

"Goodbye, dobe. Believe me when I say that I do not appreciate that you smoked weed," he turned his back to me, climbed out of my window once more, and walked over to his shiny black car before I could respond. My reflexes were amazingly slow right now.

* * *

"Hey kid," Jiraiya knocked on my door hours after Sasuke left and I let him in, "You should be good by lunch so you're probably going to school then."

"What?!" I cried in annoyance. Jiraiya would absolutely not give a shit if I went to school or not except that Tsunade and Iruka would bitch him out if I didn't go just about everyday.

"It all depends on if you're being a nuisance to me or not." He smiled at me, "When you become a better stoner then you won't even have to miss school." With that he left me alone, with nothing to do but sleep or watch TV while waiting to see if he would take me to school. It was pure torture.

* * *

I watched Sasuke pull up my driveway and I threw the rest of my clothes into my duffel bag. It had been three days since Jiraiya had first introduced me to pot (he had smoked the Diesel without me since I was sleeping) and he hadn't given me any since I would have had to miss school again. I called out a goodbye to the general direction of the kitchen where Jiraiya was experimenting as I launched out the door and I met Sasuke a third of the way up my huge driveway.

"Hey," I said breathlessly as I climbed into the passenger side of the Volvo. He hn'ed like usual as he pulled back out of my driveway.

"When are you going to stop being so lazy and get your own license?"

"When Jiraiya decides he feels like taking me to the DMV." I retorted as I settled into the soft vinyl. "Besides, why would I bother driving when I've got you?" I chuckled at his silence.

"Itachi is going to be home this weekend," his tone had gone cold. If there had ever been a 'sibling hatred thingy' then Sasuke's hatred for Itachi was the worst of them all. And I have never once gotten him to tell me why he hates his older brother even though I am the only person Sasuke can stand in the world. He told me so himself.

"Then why don't we stay at my place?"

"I have been staying the night with you for the past three weekends; I need a break from that pervert." Sasuke shook his head at me, "I don't know how you live with him."

"I love him, like a father." I shrugged my shoulders, "Least I don't have to live with someone who I hate." Sasuke 'hn'ed once more and then the car ride went silent for a couple of minutes. It wasn't awkward, and with Sasuke I never felt the need to fill up the silence with mindless chatter like I do with everyone else. We were ok with the quiet; we enjoyed it because when I get hyper I get loud and the moments in between my outburst were ones Sasuke and I enjoyed in silence.

"Hey," Sasuke refused to look at me, "Why did you smoke pot?"

"Ah, because Jiraiya was all, 'Hey, kid, come and try this fire shit, it's really good.' And I was all; 'ok…' and then I got really…blitzed."

I had watched Sasuke's fingers tighten around the wheel as I spoke, saw his knuckles turn white from the strain. "Why did you agree?"

"I was curious?" I sounded like I was asking him if it was ok that I was human, that I have human tendencies. "What's it to you anyway?" I snapped when I realized I had been justifying.

Sasuke refused to answer and this time the silence was awkward.

"Are you going to do it again?" I had almost missed his question in the music we had playing. Cartel was pretty out of place in this mood with its happy-go-lucky beat and I had been concentrating on it with all my might.

"Maybe…" I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes and he didn't seem to remember about my awesome peripheral vision because his face twisted into a scowl at my response. Sasuke is very protective of me for some reason, probably because I'm his only precious person…

"I would prefer it if you didn't but if you decide that killing what little brain cells you have in that big head of yours is a good idea then go for it."

"Ouch," I rolled my eyes, "Whatever dude, it's not like it's going to kill me."

My head smashed into the dashboard as he suddenly slammed on the brakes and the car skidded to a stop; thankfully we had the road to ourselves.

"Weed is an addictive substance, Naruto. It. Can. Kill. You."

"Are you trying to kill me?" I hysterically rubbed my forehead but it was fine so I calmed down. I had to; Sasuke was glaring at me and refused to start driving until I addressed him. "Chill, teme, I'm gonna be careful." I gave him a pissed look and he gave me one of his blood-chilling glares. Uchia's have this uncanny knack for glares, every single blood-Uchia can do them amazingly well and I didn't stand a snow cone's chance in hell at beating him with my puny glare by comparison. So I huffed and looked out the window of my side of the car, for once actually twirling the idea of not spending the weekend with Sasuke around in my head. It would be the first time I would have a weekend to myself in a very long time, over three years I think.

We sat in a hostile silence for the remainder of the ride to his house. When I stepped out of the car I had the impulse to slam his door…but it died when I remembered how Sasuke had almost beaten the shit out of me for falling against said shiny black car and decided it wasn't worth my life so I closed it gently. I even stroked the handle once before I stepped away from the car and locked eyes with Sasuke. They said it all, his apology for being an ass since he was much too proud to ever say it out loud.

My smile sealed the deal and we were back to being best friends like the car ride hadn't happened at all. I walked up beside Sasuke as he headed toward the house and I wrapped and arm around his shoulders even though he is taller than me.

"You know something?" I asked nonchalantly as we walked into the house and he dropped his keys into a little coffee cup next to the door—Itachi's idea—and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me. I smirked and ran to his room where the Game Cube was along with Phantasy Star Online. "I only come here for this!" I laughed at his glare and turned on the TV while he switched on the Game Cube and I bounced onto his bed with a purple controller tightly clenched in my fist. He scowled at my happy demeanor, even in his own house it took him a while to warm up to me and become the 'happy' Sasuke that I love like a brother.

I loaded up my level eighty-seven character and yelled profanities at Sasuke when I saw that her outfit had been changed to something pinkish.

"What? I think it looks good on her," I was even more upset when he pointed out that my Hunter was a female.

She had looked pretty cool at the time and I liked her outfits but the minute Sasuke saw her he wouldn't stop teasing me about her having a mechanical vagina… "Well my level eighty seven girl can kick your level sixty two male's ass any day."

"I don't play this nearly as often as you, dobe." Sasuke sat back lazily and watched my character run through Very Hard like it was nothing while his character couldn't get through the Forest, which is the first level. Forest One wized by like nothing, along with Forest Two, the Dragon didn't stand a chance either who is the main boss. Cave One, Two, and Three were nothing and the giant worm thing whose name I never bothered to memorize died easily by my hands. I didn't even use my weapons in the Mines (however many there are), which really pissed Sasuke off even though he would never admit to it. The Ruins were a different matter though, they still gave me a slight challenge and I almost died while facing the four different bosses that were all technically the same being but they broke off and added shit while in the middle of fighting it and I just called it four different bosses cause it's easier than saying all that other stuff.

Now that about three hours had been killed along with over nine hundred cyber enemies I turned to Sasuke and asked him what was for dinner.

"You have a one track mind, dobe," he smirked at my indignant yell but Sasuke's good mood was destroyed moments later.

"Ah, I see Naruto-kun is here, please try to keep it down." Itachi had poked his head in the door for a moment, "And we are having pizza. I don't feel like cooking," and with that he left the room.

I looked nervously over at Sasuke but he seemed oddly calm for once. "What's with you?" at his confused look I elaborated, "You're usually hyperventilation after an encounter like that."

"Hyperventilating, dobe." He stood and retrieved his backpack from its corner and opened it up. I tried to read the cover of the book but he beat me to the punch, "Romeo and Juliet." He shook his head, "Have to do this for a play."

He glared when I busted out laughing, "Are you serious?! Which part…? Wait, I bet I know. You're _Romeo_," I batted my eyes like a swooning chick while raising my voice about five pitches and he grunted at me which was all the conformation I needed to fall over with laughter.

"Hn," he looked over the lines highlighted in the book. "I need you to go over this with me."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, "Why? I'm not in drama. Though I do admit the title is perfect for my little drama queen." He shot me a heated glare and threw another book at me.

"I told Mr. Gai that I had someone I could practice with. Come on, let's read Act I, I'll be Sampson, you be Gregory."

"Fine…" I didn't want to at all in any way, shape, or form, but for Sasuke I would suffer through the horrors of poetry. It's not like I would ever have to read it in Gai's class.

Sasuke's voice was deep and powerful, like he was putting on the show just for me and I thought he was getting _way_ into this.

"Gregory, on my word, we'll not carry coals."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked and Sasuke sighed.

"Don't bother _understanding _Romeo and Juliet; if I were to explain everything to you we would be here all weekend in Act I when I need to go over the entire thing before next Saturday."

"Next Saturday?" I asked, "But that's your birthday."

"And…?"

"And I have something planned!" I glared at him with my Uzumaki-glare-of-doom but it had no effect.

"Plan it for Sunday and read your line."

I grumbled but complied as best as I could:

"No, for then we should be colliers."

My voice was vague and monotone while Sasuke went all out, showing more emotion now than he ever had at school.

"I mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw."

"Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of collar."

"I strike quickly, being moved."

"But thou art not quickly moved to strike."

"A dog of the house of Montague moves me."

"To move is to stir, and to be…valiant is to stand. Therefore, if thou art moved, thou…run'st away."

My head was spinning, trying desperately to make sense of all this nonsense.

"A dog of that house shall move me to stand. I will take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's."

My throat was thoroughly dry by the time we got to one of the most sappiest and romantic moments in history.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand. This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss." Sasuke held my hand gently and kissed it so softly that I barely felt his lips.

By now I will admit to have gotten into the part of Juliet, sue me.

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much. Which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch and palm to palm is holy palmers kiss."

I saw Sasuke get even more into this now that I was being enthusiastic, we were even acting it out like we were in the older version of this movie.

"Have no saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

Sasuke was crowding me like Romeo had crowded Juliet and I walked around his room, nervously looking around and distracting myself from his face just like Juliet had (I never said that I hadn't seen the movie a hundred times).

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use to prayer."

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do! They pray; grant though, lest faith turn to despair."

Sasuke grabbed my hand gently and our palms laid flat together while I looked upon them.

"Saints do not move, though grants for prayers' sake."

"Then move not while my prayers' effect take. Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purged."

My heart was pounding loudly in my chest much like Juliet's must have been.

"Then have my lips the sin that they have took."

"Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."

Sasuke leaned forward and I didn't move as soft petals brushed my lips.


	2. Chapter 2

I heard a thump as Sasuke dropped his literature book and wrapped his arms around me while he deepened the kiss, pressing more firmly against my lips as I froze from shock. Shouldn't that have just been a peck? Something two heterosexual males never do is kiss like this, of that I was sure. And yet I pressed back when he pulled me closer. I let my hands rest on his arms as I leaned against his body, my own book dropping on the other side of us from his. As soon as his tongue swiped at my lips, asking for entrance I had to push him away.

"A-are you gay?" I squeaked as I tried to not freak out.

"Was my kissing that convincing?" he smirked at my blush and I glared at him.

"There was no reason for the kiss in the first place! It's not like we have an audience or anything."

Sasuke shrugged, "I was getting used to the idea of having to kiss Tenten, besides, it's not like you pulled away instantly. You kissed back, Naruto, are you gay?"

"I don't know," I blurted it out before I could catch myself, and Sasuke's eyes widened in shock as I slapped a hand over my mouth.

"How do you not know?"

"I just…I don't have a fan club, Sasuke, I can't just call up someone and tell them I'm horny and expect anything other than the cops being called on me." I shrugged my shoulders, "That was my first kiss."

"Really?" Sasuke seemed genuinely surprised, "I would think differently."

"Well, whatever. Let's just finish this…"

"Pizza's here," at Itachi's call from downstairs my mind blanked except of the thought of cheesy goodness.

I crooned when Itachi handed me a plate with three slices of extra cheesy pizza and promised to save me three more if I cleaned up the mess in my room from when I had an egg explode...

Don't ask.

"I don't know," I said in between bites, "That's a lot of work…" when Itachi began to load his plate with the last three slices from the extra cheesy I agreed to sacrifice about three hours of my life for them.

Itachi smirked and left the room for his lair. I called his master bedroom that because whenever he had time to be home he was almost always in his room with whatever little gang member he had with him at the time. I didn't know what any of his click in the Mafia looked like because Sasuke kept me far away from them. He believed they were a bad influence. He told me they were the part of the Mafia that was sent out to kill people who screwed the Mafia over. Which means that Itachi got to kill for a living as well as own a major company that his father had passed on to him when he had died.

I stuffed my face with pizza as I headed up to my room, intent on doing the job as quickly as possible so that my pizza didn't go cold.

"Hey," Sasuke walked into the room behind me and closed the door. I looked nervously at him, expecting him to rage about my earlier comment, "Did you enjoy that?"

"The pizza?" I asked obliviously.

"No moron, I mean did you like the kiss?"

I glared at him, "Why? You gonna make fun of me?"

"No," Sasuke looked deadly serious and that kind of startled me.

"Then yeah, I kinda did, so what?"

"Hn," Sasuke walked around my room, "Maybe you should stay in my room tonight, you know, like we used to before Itachi insisted that we were too old to share a room."

I gulped down an un-chewed bite of pizza, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Sasuke shrugged, "Just a suggestion, we still share a room at your house."

"Are you going to molest me in my sleep if I do?"

"No," Sasuke was still too serious and that was why I didn't refuse.

Sometimes I wish that I had.

He helped me clean up my room and I took my stuff into his room where we sat and went over some more Romeo and Juliet lines.

Sasuke spoke his lines as vigilantly as before:

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she. Be not her maid, since she is envious. Her vestal livery is but sick and green, and none but fools do wear it, cast it off. It is my lady!"

At this I scoffed.

"O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were. She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold; 'tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their sphere till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See how she leans her cheek upon that hand, O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"

"Ay me!"

I was so very happy that I wasn't saying Sasuke's part.

"She speaks, O, speak again bright angel, for thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wond'ring eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air."

"O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?"

I felt like such an idiot for saying that completely in character.

"Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if though wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be Capulet."

"Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?"

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy. Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face. O, be some other name belonging to a man. What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name; and for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself."

Sasuke stood with a flourish from his bed:

"I take thee at thy word. Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; henceforth I never will be Romeo."

"What man art though, thus bescreened in night, so stumblest on my counsel?"

"By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am. My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself because it is an enemy to thee. Had I written, I would tear the word."

"My ears have yet not drunk a hundred words of thy tongue's uttering, yet I know the sound. Art though not Romeo, and a Montague?"

"I think that's enough for tonight," Sasuke said as he abruptly shut his book with a snap.

"Thank god, I was about to puke from all the sappy goodness that is Shakespeare." Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me, "What?"

"I never told you who it was written by."

"So? It rolls through the beginning of the old movie every time I watch it so I kinda caught on to who it was written by."

"How many times have you watched this crap?" I realized he must have noticed how little I had had to look at the book for the lines.

"Eh? Not much…"

That was when Sasuke tackled me, pinning me beneath him on his bed, "Tell me, dobe."

"Kiss my ass," I snapped at him as I bucked, trying to throw him off of me. Instead he grabbed me and somehow restrained me long enough to flip me over and onto my stomach.

I struggled in vain as I felt him press me harder into his bed, his body flush with my own, "If you really want me to," I stiffened in response and Sasuke slid down my body before I could gather my wits and he kissed me ass, literally. He was very lucky that I didn't have a fart bubbling up…

"Eww, Sasuke, you're disgusting!" I cried and struggled some more as he lay back down on top of me, pinning me down easily.

Sasuke works out every single day to keep his amazing figure and I work out whenever I feel like it, which isn't that often. I'm lucky that I have such a high metabolism or else I would probably be fat by now. Anyway Sasuke is a lot stronger than me and I only really knew the dirty tricks of fighting, ones that would incapacitate an opponent so that way I could run away before they could catch me since I'm a very fast runner. I didn't want to maim Sasuke…yet.

"You told me to," Sasuke pointed out, his lips too close to my ear for comfort, "Doesn't that make you disgusting for wanting me to?"

"I didn't want you to, I told you to kiss my ass because I didn't think you would actually do it!" I slammed my head back but he had moved his face out of the way before I had even tensed up for the movement. I hated how predictable I was to him sometimes.

I struggled a bit more, wiggling my body beneath his while trying to get my amazing talent of squeezing out of anything into action when I heard a soft groan from the teen above me. I froze, now noticing something poking my thigh that wasn't one of Sasuke's hands…

"What the fuck man?!" I cried out, breaking free when he no longer tried holding me beneath him. "Since when did you become gay?"

"Since I found out that vaginas are gross," he curled his upper lip in memory, "I don't know why the media glorifies the pussy so much, it's just lose bacon strips."

"Wow," I said slowly, "Are you Chris Croker now?" I laughed when he glared at me, obviously thinking that I had never heard of my hero. "LEAVE BRITANY ALONE!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs—which was very loud—and Itachi burst into Sasuke's room moments later with an almost angry look on his handsome face.

"Why are you screaming?"

"Uhh, I was quoting something." I said lamely and he grunted at me to not quote anymore before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him very abruptly.

I looked over at Sasuke but he wouldn't look at me, "Maybe we should call it a night," I looked over at the digital clock and was shocked to see that it was almost midnight. "You're still willing to be near me?" he seemed slightly shocked and I laughed at him.

"You think I'm gonna let your horny ass ruin my weekend of Phantasy Star Online?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at me before he took off his shirt in preparation for bed. "Actually I think I'm gonna go take a shower," he left the room right after that without another word and I just knew what he would be doing in the shower.

I shook the images of Sasuke's body soaking wet, his cock engorged and being stroked by a pale hand…oh right, I'm trying to get those images out of my head. I took off my own shirt, remembering how Sasuke's body had been so pale, so smooth looking; I just didn't need to think about it. I stripped down to my boxers and then went through my stuff looking for my Spongebob pajama bottoms—yes I like Spongebob, who cares?

Sasuke came back a few minutes later, still dripping with shower water and a towel hanging low on his hips was the only thing covering him. He walked his little prowlly walk over to his closet and I would swear that he had more of a swing to his hips than usual. I saw his towel slip and I could see the beginning of his ass peeking out at me as he bent over to pick up a pair of boxers from the bottom of his closet. That closet was the only part in this house—other than my room—that was messy. Or as far as I knew anyway since I had never been in the study or the master bedroom.

Sasuke stood and shed his towel, exposing his backside completely to my hungry eyes. His back muscles were strong and lean, his hips were narrow and his lower back had two dimples above his tight ass…

I gulped as he bent back over and I saw his puckered ass for a moment before plaid boxers came up and covered it. I thought that I might be going crazy but Sasuke shaves in between his ass cheeks…

"What are you looking at?" Sasuke asked and I hadn't realized that I was still staring, all I could see was that ass and what my instincts were telling me what I should be doing to it.

"You, teme, quite flaunting your body, it's just wrong." I walked over to his bed and snuggled into my old side of it, close to the door. Sasuke had put me there to be the victim of Itachi's midnight maid treating since he would randomly need to eat a lot of food for no particular reason.

Sasuke smirked at me as he crawled onto his side of the bed, starting at the foot, he slowly made his way up until he was almost on top of me before he suddenly rolled over and climbed quickly underneath the blankets and I knew he was going to be asleep in about seven minutes. Sleeping beside someone almost everyday for about three years does that to you.

* * *

I lay in bed, thinking about what all had been said today. It had been the most dramatic day we have ever had I think, other than the time that I lost my bouncy ball in Itachi's room when we were seven and, we secretly went into said room to retrieve it and we had almost gotten caught by Sasuke's dad. That had happened before almost his entire family had 'died'.

It wasn't until a couple of hours later that someone opened the door and Itachi poked his head in. I looked over at him and recognized the red eyes, dilated pupils, and far-off look on his face. It was going to be one of those nights where Itachi needed a cook.

"Hey," he said in a gruff voice, "Make me some stuffing," he opened the door a little more and I slumped out of the bed and after him while rubbing my eyes to try to wipe the sleep out of them.

When we reached the kitchen it dawned on me that Itachi wasn't the only person to have that look about him. It had always held a touch of familiarity to me, the look had always tickled some random memory and it finally sunk it. Itachi looked like Jiraiya did whenever the man smoked some green.

"You're high," I gasped and Itachi looked over his shoulder at me.

"How would you know?"

I shrugged my shoulders like it was nothing; "Jiraiya let me smoke a joint and a bowl with him the other day."

"Really?" Itachi crossed his arms as he watched me pull out a saucepan and a packet of ramen. "I asked for stuffing," Itachi stalked over and threw the ramen packet violently into the trashcan on the other side of the kitchen before grabbing a box of stuffing and he shoved into my numb hands. Itachi wasn't normally this…emotional.

"And I don't feel like making it," I snapped as I tried to get to the trashcan but Itachi blocked my way, bringing our bodies close in an uncomfortably closeness…

"Just do it," it came out in an almost whine which scared me into making the stuffing without another complaint. "Thanks," Itachi tucked in, his face a mask of concentration as he devoured half the family-sized serving before he took out a beer—which he rarely drinks—and took a swig of it heartily.

"Can I go to bed now?" I asked thinking of how exhausting it was to argue with Sasuke. And I yawned for good effect. I wasn't all that tired but I found it very unsettling whenever Itachi and I were alone together.

He shrugged his shoulders and we walked into the hallway. I wanted to just run into Sasuke's room but Itachi stopped me with his cold voice. "Do you wanna smoke with us?"

"Who's us?" I asked, curious and still wary.

"Kisame and me," Itachi put a hand upon his doorknob and looked expectantly at me.

I thought about it, weighed the pros and cons of smoking with Sasuke's older brother when Sasuke utterly rejects weed. I nodded my head, hesitant but wanting to have that experience again. Itachi led me into his room that was dark, with a couple of black lights making the walls glow with messages and images hidden when under normal light. There were pot leaves, cartoon characters in spoofs, strange runes were splotched in places—they looked like English but I couldn't be sure—and finally there was a desk on the far wall that was glowing green and was covered in pot-smoking equipment.

"Nice," I whispered and Kisame turned, his hair a dark blue while his skin was tinted (non too subtly either) a lighter shade of blue. His teeth were filed to points and the smile he sent Itachi was lecherous.

"You finally joining us, Naruto?"

"Shut up," hissed Itachi as he sat in a plush chair, his body relaxing instantly when it came in contact with the soft furniture. The Uchia tossed the rest of the stuffing to Kisame and the shark-like man devoured it very quickly. "Have a seat," Itachi motioned toward a plain colored chair that looked like his and I sank into it quickly.

The cushion hugged my body perfectly, cradling me in just the right way so that I couldn't keep myself from relaxing. A sigh had escaped my mouth without me noticing and Itachi alternated between watching me and Kisame; who was handling the weed.

"So, like I was sayin'; my dealer hooked me up with some crazy shit tonight." The blue skinned teen—full body tattoo as far as I know and filed teeth; all of them—finished rolling the blunt and lit the end of it, watching the red flame lick the bottom of the green papered smoke-thing and I couldn't take my eyes from it.

This, smoking weed, was going to destroy my life. I could have walked away, I could have just gone to bed after making Itachi his damn stuffing, and then I would have avoided the mess I created with that single blunt that led to another blunt….and another blunt…and another blunt.

I didn't realize that, after tonight, I would become addicted to the stuff until it was way too late.

* * *

By the time I regained awareness of my surroundings the only thing I could focus on was not hurling as a dick shoved itself down my throat over and over. I tried not to gag, remembering slowly that I had agreed to give Itachi a blowjob—despite not knowing how thick and long his member was. Leave it to an Uchia to have the perfect dick.

I tried to swallow and I heard a cock-twitching moan of ecstasy come from the being above me and I moaned with him. Yes, hearing and Uchia moan was enough to make me moan.

Shut up.

I felt him thicken, I watched him swell and I gagged as he came, pulling out of my mouth and squirting his sex juice on my face before he sagged in his chair, a glazed look in his gray/black eyes as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I didn't feel dirty about this yet; I just focused on his fingers in my hair. The way his hot thighs felt against my hands was an extreme turn-on while his fingers playing in my hair was utterly amazing. I could have kneeled there all night except Itachi wanted to smoke some more after wiping off my face for me with a towel he grabbed from off the floor.

"I think I should go," I mumbled, knowing I looked tired as hell.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes guarded as he prepared another bowl.

"Yeah, otherwise Sasuke will definitely know something is up," I wanted to brush my teeth but Sasuke would notice if my toothbrush was abnormally wet in the morning.

Sasuke notices weird shit like that.

"Fine," just as I was about to walk out of his room he spoke again. "We should hang out some more."

"Sure," I said, surprised by the nonchalant offer as I walked out of his room and snuck into Sasuke's room. I tried not to stumble over stuff as I made my way to bed and laid down, my heart pounding when I felt Sasuke shift beside me.

"Naruto…?" Sasuke mumbled, his eyes cracking open a tiny bit to squint at me.

"Yeah?"

"Where ya been at?"

"Itachi wanted something to eat," I bit my lip, hoping Sasuke would buy my stupid lie.

"Why do you smell like weed?"

"'Cause…" and I realized I had no excuse. "I just do…"

Sasuke stared at me, his eyes suspicious but I was lucky, he was tired and didn't feel like pursuing the matter any farther so he rolled over and went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I know this took forever to get out, and I am sorry. I was cut off from the internet because we were moving and we didn't have it until like yesterday so forgive me for taking so long to update. I hope you can enjoy this chapter anyway.

PREVIOUSLY ON Weed: Sasuke and Naruto shared a one-sided kiss, Itachi got Naruto really fucked up after the blonde called him out on being stoned, Kisame hinted at something hidden but it didn't go into detail, Itachi fucked Naruto's mouth, and Sasuke blindly fell for Naruto's lame excuse while in the dead of sleep.

* * *

The next morning another of Itachi's gang members had come over and made everyone breakfast. I learned later on that she—Konan—was the only female member of the Akatsuki—the Japanese hit Mafia thing… I had made a mental note to ask how she had managed to get into the Mafia with them since it wasn't that often that women could become assassins but hadn't actually managed to mention it…

Anyway the food had been surprisingly amazing and orgasmic. Sasuke and I hung out, played some video games on any game station you can think of, gorged ourselves on whatever we wanted, and just generally chilled. We debated going swimming but decided that the pool—which was in the backyard not ten feet from the house—was much too far away.

In all it was rather dull.

That night was another thing entirely.

* * *

"Oi, Naruto," Itachi stood over me, his eyes a scarlet red.

"Go away, 'tachi," Sasuke grumbled in his sleep as he snagged me around the waist. "E's mine..." he grumbled something else and passed out, rolling over onto his other side.

Itachi ignored Sasuke and snatched me up so he could take me into his master bedroom where a man with blonde hair sat, smoking on a blunt. "Deidara, Naruto-kun." I felt embarrassed with the fact that Itachi had literally carried me into the room and sat me down gently into a rather plush seat but I said nothing.

"Yo!" he smiled and I noticed that he looked like a pretty girl until his hair fell away from his eye and it showed the mechanical attachment there.

"He's our sniper and bomb expert. Even without that stupid eye he's the best that there ever was."

We smoked a lot, we drank a little, and we smoked some more. I was thoroughly fucked up by the time Deidara was called in for a sniping job. "Shit, you got any hangover pills, un?" Itachi tossed him a couple of white tablets that Deidara swallowed with a beer. "Gotta run, thanks for this man, un." And he left, through Itachi's window.

I had barely noticed his absence since I was more messed up than I could handle and wondering what we were going do now that he was gone. I was really looking at Itachi's walls, just staring at the cool images scrawled neatly across the smooth paint; I was 'tripping out' but didn't know it.

Itachi stood up and came over to me, "Would you like me to return the favor from yesterday?"

I stared at him blankly, not remembering what he was talking about. I nodded yes anyway since that seemed to be what he wanted. He picked me up again, like I was his bride or something, and carried me to his large bed in the next room. When he laid me down I had to fight really hard not to just fall asleep. He hovered over me, gently touching me, winding me up before I even knew what was happening. I was shaking as he lent over me and positioned himself between my legs. He lifted my left leg, running his hand up and down my thigh, teasingly grasping my crotch before his hand would glide back up my leg. I don't even remember him taking off my pajama pants. His nose was running up and down my chest, his hair falling over my face and its soft surface felt wonderful on my hot skin.

He pulled me toward him, possessively bringing me closer to his body; his teeth skidded over my neck, his hands grasping me more harshly. I was shaking so hard by now that I could barely control myself. I bucked up, bringing myself even closer to him, settling my ass against his crotch like it belonged there—or something equally corny. Itachi responded almost violently, crashing his hips against mine, it hurt but I liked it. I don't know how long this teasing went on, I couldn't think enough to keep track of time and his hands were squeezing in all the right places and at just the right times.

I realized I was becoming naked very quickly when I lifted my legs, allowing him to remove my boxers. I was a little worried now, mostly horny, and afraid that he wanted to have sex. I wasn't sure I wanted something like that to happen.

"Maybe we should stop..." I whispered but he ignored me, sliding his hands lavishly over my body.

I couldn't protest anymore after that because he started doing things to me down there that I had never felt before in my life. I was moaning by now, loudly, and I just couldn't stop myself so Itachi stuffed his shirt into my mouth, smirking at me as he continued the harsh ministrations. His mouth never touched my penis; it was all his hands, pressing me, pumping me, teasing me.

I could have never done it as well as him.

I came in an explosive spray, my eyes glazing over, my heart racing. Itachi looked at me, just watching me, and I couldn't think of why he would do that.

"What?" I asked as I spit out the shirt; my mouth was very dry. Itachi ignored my question and grabbed a beer from the nightstand. I guzzled some of the alcohol to take away my cotton mouth from the weed. "Why are you lookin' at meh like that?"

He looked away, his dark eyes brooding, and didn't answer. I ignored it after that, assuming that he would tell me eventually. Maybe…

He took me outside, to smoke a cigarette, I told him I didn't want to but he told me I would when I tried it. I thought about how ironic that was, seeing as nicotine is super addictive, but I took a drag anyway. Instead of feeling sick like I expected I felt good, my high and drunkenness kicked my ass once more and I fell onto Itachi after only one drag. He didn't protest, just took the cigarette and helped me back into the house once he was done smoking it. Itachi gently put me into 'my' room, knowing that the moment I opened my mouth to Sasuke I would blab. In the morning I would have more self-control but not right now.

"Good night, Naruto-kun," he whispered and walked out of my room.

* * *

I moaned and opened my eyes a crack, my head pounding harshly. Sasuke was standing over me and I squinted at him.

"Why are you in here?"

I shook my head, looking around and noticing that I was not in Sasuke's room. I was as shocked as he was when I answered "I have no idea."

"Don't fuck with me, Naruto!!" he grabbed me, slamming my head into the headboard. "Tell me where you were last night around the time I heard loud moans coming from Itachi's room!"

I was flabbergasted, what had happened last night? "I'm telling you I have no idea! The last thing I remember from last was you telling Itachi to not take me away from you in your sleep."

Sasuke stood over me, his grip unbelievably tight, an insane anger shinning in his black eyes. And just like that it was over, he released me and I gasped for breath, gently rubbing my sore neck. The Uchiha wasn't done though; he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me toward him, kissing me harshly and suddenly. His lips were smooth but hard, like cold granite. I didn't move, I just let him kiss me; let him get whatever the hell was in his system out.

"What the hell?" I asked in a surprisingly calm voice once he pulled away from me. He glared angrily, pulling my hair so that my throat was exposed to him. He put his nose to my throat, sniffing me.

"You smell like sex."

I searched my memory, trying to remember if what was there was a dream or not. "I honestly don't know why..." Sasuke shoved me deeper into the bed, his eyes blazing with anger as he snarled at me, his hands bruising my shoulders.

"Do you want me to prove it?"

"Prove what?" I snapped at him, pushing him to try and shove him off of me.

"You are mine!" I saw his mind blank, I watched as he changed into Sasuke 2.0. Only this time I did not think that this was a joke. He pulled my blanket away from me, ripping off my clothes with enough force to tear them. I bucked up, ready to throw him off of me and beat his ass for seeing me naked and not after I had just taken a shower when he knocked me upside my head and dazed me—the only reason I think it worked was because of my hangover too. My body was limp as he clamped leather straps to my wrists; I had never noticed them being attached to my bed before.

"Stop..." I groaned and he smirked at me with malicious intent.

"But I have to prove to you that no one else can have you."

I built up air into my lungs, ready to yell for Itachi, or anyone, to come and help me. Sasuke rushed toward me, shoving a stray pair of boxers down my throat to make me stop. I tried anyway and only the barest of squeaks escaped. My anger began to show now and I kicked at Sasuke. He laughed as he caught my leg, shoving it down onto the bed and tying it up even as I thrashed aggressively.

Sasuke ran his hands over my body lavishly, enjoying my flesh even as I tried to attack him with my remaining leg. He licked my body, kissing and biting my flesh in alternating movements. I wasn't enjoying it, this was rape and I was getting more pissed by the second. My foot connected with the side of his body, sending him crashing into the door just as someone tried to open it. I wasn't sure if I would be more embarrassed by someone finding us like this or more happy.

Sasuke glared at me, standing and locking the door with a defiant click that made me want to gulp with fear. He then thought better of it and opened the door just enough to slip out.

"What happened?" I heard Itachi through the door and tried screaming again, tried using my tongue to get the damn boxers out of my mouth, tried wrenching my hands or leg free. Nothing worked so I just laid there and waited for Sasuke to get back so I could kick the shit out of him.

"I tripped trying to sneak out of Naruto's room. He's still knocked out." I heard Sasuke lean against the door and I wished that Itachi would investigate.

"Maybe I should check on him..."

My heart soared with delight and hope.

"Why would you care?" Sasuke's tone had become dangerous, and I just knew his eyes were flashing.

"He is a guest in my home; I'm liable while he is here."

"He's fine, promise." Sasuke opened the door a smidge and I caught a glimpse of Itachi before the door shut again. Itachi had been turned away.


End file.
